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Wednesday September 28th

Clint Eastwood is a true American hero

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Eastwood went ahead and made someone’s day. (AP Photo)

Let the games begin. The Winter Olympics have officially begun as of last Friday, Feb. 7, in the Russian city of Sochi. What a perfect location to host the games, as the Russians are famous for their camaraderie, duress and the ability to strike fear into the hearts of millions. The Sochi Games have been under fire for months, ever since the enactment of a law that banned “LGBT propaganda,” which means you basically can’t say or do anything gay. So if you thought you were gonna catch up on some “Will & Grace” DVDs in the Olympic Village, forget it. Want Pink Berry? You better keep your mouth shut. Enjoying Beyoncé’s new album? Chuck that iPod off the mountain you’re sliding down. Some have called for a boycott of the Games. But no country has done so and instead have sent a number of out athletes to show Russia that even if you’re gay, you can totally shred anyway.

Where was Clint Eastwood when President George W. Bush choked on a pretzel? The 83-year-old actor recently saved a man from choking to death. Eastwood sprung to the rescue of Steve John, an executive at an event he was attending. The man apparently had a piece of cheese lodged in his throat. Honestly, that’s the way I’d wanna go. Good ol’ Eastwood prevented that from happening to Mr. John, though. After the event, Eastwood pointed out he never performed the Heimlich maneuver before. Is there anything this man can’t do?

Oprah would definitely have one-upped Eastwood. She would have sucked the cheese right out of his mouth. You know how Oprah hates to see food go to waste. The media mogul/Leader of the Free World is in talks to debut on Broadway. Apparently, Oprah would star in “‘Night, Mother,” which I’m assuming is about the time Oprah sent Stedman to bed without dinner. FABULOUS. I’m all for Oprah winning a Tony. She needs more men to own.


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