By Gabbi Pie’
Correspondent
Ever since the release of the smash-hit single “Stick Season,” Noah Kahan has gone from a humble indie folk-pop singer-songwriter to a bona fide pop star, with his intricate songwriting and catchy folk-inspired production capturing the hearts of millions around the world. And with a new album set for release on April 24 and a sold-out stadium tour set to follow it, Kahan’s career is only just beginning.
Kahan’s leap from his small town of Strafford, Vermont, to stadiums across the world has not been an easy one, and he has spoken previously about how difficult it has been to deal with his sudden fame. With his new Netflix documentary, “Noah Kahan: Out of Body,” released on April 13, fans can see Kahan’s struggles from a personal angle, with director Nick Sweeney following the singer as he attempts to get back in touch with his Vermont roots that inspired his music after spending two-and-a-half-years on tour. “After all of this, what is my purpose?” Kahan asks. “And where am I now?”
Kahan introduces Sweeney and the viewers to his parents and three siblings, with the camera catching candid moments of connection between the family that Kahan’s music is full of references to. “I don’t see [Noah] a lot,” Kahan’s brother Richard says. “But it does make it really special when we do get to hang out, especially when he’s not on tour, and we can just kinda go back to regular older brother, younger brother, not Noah Kahan the superstar.”
Strafford residents also talk about what life is like in the small town, with a lot of their sentiments mirroring Kahan’s in his music. “I often think about the line, ‘The weather ain’t been bad if you’re into masochistic b—t,’” says Amy, a dairy farmer, referencing a lyric from Kahan’s song “Homesick.” “That comes up a lot.”
Footage of Kahan performing at Madison Square Garden and Fenway Park is powerfully paralleled by footage of Kahan opening up about his insecurities regarding his appearance and his weight. “I binge eat a lot of food when I’m feeling stressed. And then I get, like, so hateful about my body and what I look like that I don’t eat for a while, and I can starve myself,” Kahan says as he works out with a personal trainer. “When I look in the mirror, I feel like I don’t see what my body actually looks like.”
Kahan also delves deeper into his family life, talking about how his family struggled after his father got into a devastating biking accident that left him in a coma and severely altered his personality, which ultimately led to his parents getting divorced. “It kinda changed everything. It was a before and an after in our lives where you can see, ‘Oh, this is where it all started to unravel.’...I feel this guilt about being annoyed by him and being shitty to him, and now I don’t get to see him as much.”
Kahan also opens up about how his mental health has struggled since his rise to fame due to the pressure to succeed and the feeling that he’s peaked. This all bleeds over into the writing and recording of his new album. “I’m trying to run away from a lot of stuff right now,” Kahan says over footage of himself struggling to record vocals. “I think I’ve realized internally that there’s some insurmountable goal that I’ll never reach. Like, I don’t give a f–k about music right now. I don’t care. And it’s such a bummer…I don’t see any of myself in me anymore.”
Even with all the darkness and struggle that Kahan is working through, it is clear that he has hope, as well as an excellent support system around him. Kahan admits that he is working through his body dysmorphia and is clearly working to reconnect with his past, jamming with his childhood music teacher and his father. Kahan and his wife Brenna are also looking for property in the Upper Valley where they both are from, expressing excitement in being back where they grew up. These lighter moments make it clear that, as Brenna tells Kahan in the recording studio, he is going to be OK.
“I think one thing I’ve learned that’s really important to me, throughout all of this, is there is no happy ending or full-circle moment, or, like, there isn’t one event in your life that fixes everything,” Kahan says, looking in the mirror. “It’s waking up every day and trying.”
