Have you had the Best Week Ever? You might not have, but Chuck Nice, Sherrod Small and Judah Friedlander were having a pretty good one when they stopped at the College on Friday, Nov. 7 as part of the "Best Week Ever Tour."
"Best Week Ever" is a VH1 news spoof in which comedians comment on the pop culture happenings of the past week - including celebrity gossip, TV and movies. The tour, however, seemed to be less about what is normally featured on the show and more about each comedian's personal comedy.
The show kicked off on the Kendall Hall main stage with Chuck Nice, a regular on the show, and someone who was very concerned about College students.
"You're so quiet, it's like at a seminar or something," he said at the beginning of his set. "This is a pretty tough school though, right? No wonder you're sitting there so ass tight."
Nice focused mostly on money issues, race and girls.
"Women travel in a pattern," he said to the audience. "One hot chick and then the three linebackers with her."
According to Nice, women take care of their friends when they go out, but guys don't give a damn about each other.
"You go out, girls, and we go on safari," he said, "We wait 'til one strays from the herd . she's drunk and limping. I think I can take her out."
Nice, who is black, also commented on recent political events.
"I was watching the election and I was like, damn, my momma was right. I could have been fucking president," he said. That line got one of the biggest laughs of the night.
Finally, Nice warned College students not to be judgmental, even though he himself can't seem to break the habit. He recapped a story about when he was on the subway in New York and decided to be a hero and "watch" a suspicious-looking man of Arab descent with his "big-ass bag, terror beard and toilet paper swirly hat."
After staring for a while, Nice realized the man wasn't going to do a thing and had an epiphany: "Now I know how white people feel at 3 a.m. when we're standing by them at the ATM."
Next up was Sherrod Small, a semiregular guest on the show. "Oh, wow," he said during his opening, "Some of ya'll are just staring up here at me like . he's made of chocolate."
Most of his set revolved around money and race.
"I get out-blacked by young white kids every day," he said.
And according to Small, there's no middle class - only rich people and not rich people: "People who say 'I'm middle class' - you're adorable."
Small also explained why people get married and why women are better than men.
"A vagina is a formidable opponent. It beats everything . rock, paper, scissors ."
Small closed with a backhanded compliment for the College. "I've heard this is a really good school - it's really tough, right? But . The College of New Jersey - on paper, it sounds like the dumbest school in the nation."
Finally, Judah Friedlander took the stage. The most well-known of the three (he is a regular on NBC's "30 Rock"), he was also the least entertaining.
During the preshow interview, he said, "We don't really plan what we're going to say - on the show or the tour. We just make it up as we go along."
And that's exactly what he did.
Most of his set consisted of him asking College students what they were good at (mostly sports) and then claiming he was better and giving reasons why.
When a student expressed an interest in bowling, he said, "Yeah, they won't let me bowl anymore. I once had a 580 in the fourth frame. I got a strike with a golf ball. They made me stop after that."
The highest score one can get in bowling game is a 300 (in 10 frames). His set got the fewest laughs, as it wasn't relevant like Nice's and Small's, and was also less thoughtful.
After the three comedians had their say, they invited an audience member to the stage (sophomore political science major Kelly Rossiter) to partake in a short segment very much like the show. They looked at pictures on the big screen at the back of the stage and commented on them off the top of their heads.
Finally, they selected five audience members to come on stage and tell the crowd why they had the best week ever. The girl who had just ended her 10-month celibacy was the clear winner.
