The Signal

Serving the College since 1885

Monday December 6th

Lions Fantasy World 3/6/13

Heads up! This article was imported from a previous version of The Signal. If you notice any issues, please let us know.

Nothin’ But Net

So last week Dennis Rodman met Kim Jong Un, and apparently now they are BFFs.

That’s right, Dennis Rodman, whom you might remember as that guy on the Bulls back in the day who had differently colored hair every game, is now the first United States citizen to have met the leader of North Korea.

I’ll give you a minute to absorb that one.

I know I took a few minutes to get over it. I remember distinctly, since I first read about it right before a class and kind of zoned out for a while as I took in the information. Really not good, I think I missed something important.

But come on, how could I not be just a little distracted by this? Here, let me lay it out for you, just in case you’re stumped:

Point one: The United States hasn’t exactly been friends with North Korea since that whole war thing happened.

Point two: Kim Jong Un is the dictator of North Korea, a position he fairly recently inherited from his father.

Point three: North Korea has been testing nukes recently. We aren’t exactly fans of them doing that.


I mean, this is the guy who is in a two-man race with Ron-Ron World Peace as “The Mike Tyson of the NBA!” He’s probably even winning since Ron-Ron got all charitable! He’s known for being way, WAY out there!

Here’s my question (well, one of 45,690 questions, but they’re all related): How did this just happen?

I know the actual story, that Rodman went with the Globetrotters and chatted with Kim Jong Un (I’m not sure how best to shorten that, he’s a dictator with nukes so I’ll give him the respect of using his full name every time) because Kim Jong Un is apparently a big basketball fan.

What I mean is HOW this was allowed to happen. The State Department has already “distanced” itself from Rodman’s visit (how does that work? Are there rulers involved?), but how did no one, during the process of letting Rodman go meet with Kim Jong Un, not stop and say “Wait a second, this may not be the best idea” and do something about it?

…I’m supposed to be talking about fantasy basketball here, aren’t I? Forgot about that for a second. Hold on, I’ll come up with a connection between the two.

Got it!

If, in the next few seasons, you see anyone who looks like Dennis Rodman, or who is a short Korean man, join an NBA team, immediately get him on your team.

He’ll be putting up big numbers. Possibly nuclear.

I May Be Wrong, But...

Here are the moves I would make in Fantasy Basketball this week:

Add: See, I was going to lead this one off with Derrick Williams, since he’s been looking great recently. If only a player in the league hadn’t picked him up and made it look like I was copying him. Oh well, I’ll just suggest grabbing Danny Green and Gary Neal, as they’re the Spurs who are most likely to benefit from Parker’s injury.

Drop: Tony Parker. He just went down with an ankle sprain Popovich called bad, which means he definitely won’t be playing until the playoffs. Why? Because Pop is Pop, and he doesn’t want another dominant season ruined by an untimely injury. Parker’s not playing again until the playoffs, I’d put money on it. Seriously. I could use the cash. Any takers?

Look Out For: Well, Al Horford has been playing like a beast recently. Looks like after all the trade rumors surrounding the Hawks (especially those ones concerning a certain center from Atlanta who shall not be named here), Big Al’s showing that he’s the only man in the middle the Hawks should be looking at.

Be Cautious Of: The Knicks just fell out of second place in the East and have a losing record in their last ten games. This means they’ll be getting frustrated, which means Carmelo Anthony will probably go back to his old ways. As a result, I’d be careful with anyone else on that team, if Melo starts gunning they’re all going to suffer.


This Week's Issue

Issuu Preview