By Johnanthony Alaimo
Columnist
Do you like dancing to songs that have the word “anal” in them? How about ones that children sing? Well, you’re a very disturbed individual, but look no further than “Kidz Bop 27!” I can imagine a Kidz Bop executive sitting in his office screaming at his secretary, “How can we make “Kidz Bop 27” push the envelope even FURTHER??? What are all the kids into these days?” Well, apparently we got our answer.
In the Kidz Bop version of “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor (who is 2015’s version of Carly Rae Jepsen), they attempted to censor the word “booty” in the line “I’m bringing booty back,” but instead made it sound like they are saying “I’m bringing anal back,” which I’m pretty sure was the working title of Justin Timberlake’s song at some point. What the kids are really trying to say is, “I’m bringing it all back,” but as all children do, they fuck shit up. So please, for hopefully the first time in your life, go pick up a copy of “Kidz Bop 27.” You will not be disappointed. Well you will. But it’s funny to laugh at the word “anal.”
It’s also funny watching Arnold Schwarzenegger do, well, anything. The actor/former overlord of California is starring in the new “Terminator” film called “Terminator: Genisys.” A 30-second ad spot has been released which played during the Superbowl. If you ever wanted to watch a governor jump out of a helicopter and didn’t want to wait for Chris Christie to do it, well here’s your chance. The film looks like any other past “Terminator” film has, except now Arnold is old. Like really old. They explain this strange appearance as the result of his “cybernetic skin” aging. But there are plenty of murderous cyborgs who get rid of their wrinkles — just look at Courteney Cox! I’m not buying this, sorry. The next installment of the robo franchise will be released July 1, 2015, just in time to have something to talk about with your straight uncle at the next family Fourth of July barbeque.
And Justin Bieber released a video “apologizing” for his behavior. Who cares, jump out of a plane, bye.
