By Miles Pedowitz
Correspondent
For the average college student, life can feel like a constant balancing act. Time passes quickly, and many of us become overwhelmed by the growing weight of responsibilities. For college men in particular, this pressure can build rapidly. Taking time to sit with our struggles can feel like a burden, so instead, we often avoid reflection and push through discomfort.
The expectations placed on young men, both spoken and unspoken, can encourage us to suppress emotions and avoid vulnerability. This tendency, often referred to as “masking,” can have serious short and long-term effects on mental health.
Stereotypes are still powerful
In recent decades, awareness of mental health has improved. However, harmful stereotypes, especially surrounding men, still persist. For generations, stoicism has been framed as a masculine ideal: the idea that men should remain emotionally controlled, even in hardship.
Across cultures and history, this belief has taken many forms. From traditional warrior codes emphasizing emotional restraint to modern ideas of self-sufficiency and toughness, men are often expected to endure silently. Phrases like “boys don’t cry” reinforce the idea that vulnerability is weakness.
These assumptions force individuals into narrow roles and ignore the complexity of human emotion. When men express vulnerability, they may be met with discomfort or dismissal, reinforcing the idea that their struggles are abnormal or burdensome.
Over time, this can lead individuals to internalize their pain, believing they must handle everything alone. This isolation can intensify mental health challenges and make it harder to seek support.
How you can help
There is no universal way to understand or respond to mental health struggles. Each person’s experience is unique. Conditions like anxiety, depression, ADHD and OCD can manifest differently, and misunderstandings are common.
However, one of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present.
Support doesn’t always require expertise. Often, it starts with a simple question: “How are you?” A small check-in can remind someone they are not alone and open the door for meaningful conversation.
Many people hesitate to engage because they feel unqualified or fear saying the wrong thing. While professional help is important, it shouldn’t always be the first step unless there is an emergency. Jumping straight to formal intervention without personal connection can sometimes make individuals feel like a problem rather than a person.
Instead, begin with empathy. Offer a safe space for someone to talk without judgment. In many cases, people aren’t looking for advice. They just want to feel heard.
Being a consistent, supportive presence can help ease feelings of isolation and remind someone that they matter.
Ultimately, helping others requires a shift in perspective. Rather than passively hoping someone gets help, ask yourself: “What can I do right now?” Small, intentional actions can have a lasting impact.
To those who are struggling
Not many people will understand the strength that goes into these inner battles, and while that at times can feel isolating, do understand that you are never alone in this. Finding the right people to turn to can help whatever challenges you face not feel quite as large or insurmountable. There are many things that I wish I had heard or told myself during my own struggles, but the biggest, most important one is this: be proud of yourself. You are incredibly strong for showing up every day, doing the little things for yourself and for others, still turning in assignments and simply being there despite everything.
Many people, especially men, fall victim to that long-standing narrative that strength lies in stoicism and not letting your emotions grab hold of you. Accepting help from others, and admitting “I am not okay and I could use some support” is perhaps the strongest and bravest thing you can do for yourself.
Finding the right people to lean on can make a difference. Not everyone will understand your experience, and that’s okay. Focus on those who listen, care, and stay present. Whether it’s family, friends or a support group, connection plays a key role in healing.
It is crucial that you avoid the urge to minimize your feelings or rush past them. It’s okay to sit with discomfort for a while, and to take things one step at a time. Remember that your mental health is part of you, but it does not define your worth. Focus on how you care for yourself through those challenges.
Moving forward
Life will not always be easy. There will be moments when everything feels overwhelming. In those times, it can help to pause and take a rest, rather than fight against those emotions. Not every problem needs to be solved immediately. We often feel pressure to be in complete control of our lives and emotions. But sometimes, the most important thing we can do is simply allow ourselves to exist in the moment.
Connection is also one of the most powerful tools we have. Sharing your story may reveal that others are facing similar struggles. Through openness, we create spaces where healing becomes possible.
Oftentimes as men we learn that we must be perfectly in control of ourselves, our lives and our emotions. We sometimes forget that sitting with our discomfort, allowing ourselves the chance to breathe, listening to others and telling ourselves that it’s okay to take a rest are all so immeasurably important for maintaining strong cognitive function.
Often, we can be our own worst critics. It’s time to start being your own best friend, too. Only when one begins to recognize the positive, stop dwelling on the negative, and learn to accept things even when their outcomes seem a little fuzzy, does everything else start to feel right once again.
Whether you are struggling or know someone who is, be a pillar of kindness and support whenever you can. No matter where you are on campus, where you wind up after school, always remember that you matter. You are enough. And you are strong for being here every day and appreciating life’s moments.
Simply showing up each day, despite everything, is your greatest act of bravery.
