The Signal

Opinion

From a Basement: Students realizing classmate crushes aren’t as cute without their masks

By Miss Misery | Mar. 11, 2022

Refreshed from a relaxing spring break, Harper James was eager to return to the business building. However, her excitement had little to do with the next lesson in her BUS200 class; she had instead been anticipating seeing her long-time class crush, Jerry Seinfeld, without the mask covering half of his gorgeous face. Much to her dismay, though, when Harper re-entered the classroom she could not find her dear Jerry amongst the crowd of newly exposed faces. She recalled his usual seat and narrowed her focus there where her gaze was met by that of a man she did not recognize, yet one who greeted her as though they had long been acquainted.

From a Basement is a satirical column written by Miss Misery. This fictional piece is about fraternities and hazing (Navya Sinha).

Opinion

From a Basement: Campus fraternity proud to take a stand against hazing; emotional abuse on the other hand…

By Miss Misery | Feb. 22, 2022

Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece and does not reflect real individuals or events. Concern regarding the dangers of hazing has been on the rise in recent years. With more individuals involved in Greek life, criticizing it as an outdated and sadistic tradition, fraternities and sororities have had no choice but to respond. A clear message was being sent: get with the times or get left behind.

From A Basement is a satirical column written by Miss Misery. This piece describes a relationship between sorority life and beauty standards on campus (Navya Sinha).

Opinion

From a Basement: In an effort to prevent insecurity in young women, sorority ensures all members look the same

By Miss Misery | Feb. 6, 2022

In recent years, sororities have been under fire for perpetuating harmful beauty standards amongst their members which has led to increased insecurity and depression among young women.

From A Basement is a satirical column written by Miss Misery. This piece describes officer Handy McCuffs' experience saving the campus from a car parked without a permit (Navya Sinha).

Opinion

From a Basement: Campus Police save community from car parked without permit

By Miss Misery | Jan. 26, 2022

It was a normal day for officer Handy McCuffs, a longtime officer at the College. Alone in the cool light of Lot 6, he heard only the sound of his dark boots hitting the pavement as he carefully examined the dozens of cars parked.

From A Basement is a satirical column written by Miss Misery. This piece touches on the topic of inevitable icebreakers and the trauma dumping that they may sustain (Navya Sinha).

Opinion

From a Basement: Student unsure where the line between ‘icebreaker’ and ‘trauma dumping’ is

By Miss Misery | Jan. 26, 2022

The start of a new semester opens the door for an abundance of possibilities — joining a new club, taking new classes, starting a new job — all of which come with the unfortunate caveat of having to meet new people. Perhaps you would consider yourself to be a “people person,” yet even those fond of meeting new people can concede that the typical small talk in “getting to know you” type conversations can be tedious.

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Miss Misery

From a Basement: Students realizing classmate crushes aren’t as cute without their masks

From a Basement: Campus fraternity proud to take a stand against hazing; emotional abuse on the other hand…

From a Basement: In an effort to prevent insecurity in young women, sorority ensures all members look the same

From a Basement: Campus Police save community from car parked without permit

From a Basement: Student unsure where the line between ‘icebreaker’ and ‘trauma dumping’ is

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